


Drabbles of Dribbles

by Nataco



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, One Shot, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24835687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nataco/pseuds/Nataco
Summary: One shots, mainly rules but some other characters or pairs may appear.Some of these are based off of my long fic "Don't Assume" but you won't necessarily have to read that. I will point out which chapters are don't assume/college au, canon compliant, and other au's. Suggestions are always welcome even for separate one shot stories.*content warnings and ratings could change depending on where these one shots go due to addiction and mental health themes.
Relationships: Rue Bennett & Jules Vaughn, Rue Bennett/Jules Vaughn, Rue Bennett/Lexi Howard
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66





	1. Baby Sitter

**Author's Note:**

> This one is based off of Don't Assume.

"You're tall," the little kid with a pair of oversized glasses said tapping the window of the store lightly. He looks up at Rue and she looks at him oddly.

"Thanks," She scratches the back of her neck and wrinkles her brow. His mom was running into the store that was next to starbucks. He seemed to be dragging his feet on entering and his mom kept saying it's just gonna take a second. Rue just suggested to her that she could watch him while he stood outside with her. She was already waiting for Jules to come out of starbucks, the length of the line just was kinda claustrophobic. It was a win win if his mom was really only going to be a few minutes. For some reason his mom after looking her up and down and taking a photo of her license said it was okay.

Rue watches him walking around in circles humming to himself. Makes sure he's not in the way of passers who side step him. She doesn't want to look away in case she does and he is gone. But, she knows how awkward this must seem a grown woman, kind of; wearing an oversized denim jacket, cargo pants, and a cropped button up flannel.

The shirt was something Jules found but knew Rue was not really the typical flannel type. It was comfy though. Rue heard birds chirp loudly as they flew past her and the kid. Jetson or something was his name and he jumped at the sight of the birds swooping close to them. He looked scared. Not like regularly scared but scared as if the bird was about to attack him like mothra. It looked like panic and Rue kind of knew how to deal with panic when it wasn't her own.

"Hey I got you, so like you don't like birds," Rue asks him leaning against the brick wall. He moves further towards the store window and away from the birds that could start flying from the telephone lines at any moment. 

He shakes his small little afro back and forth even though it doesn't move too much before looking up at her shielding his eyes. "I'm afraid of a lot of things." 

Rue nibbles on the inside of her lip, "Me too." Oh the cruel irony coming from some humorous god. Jake smiles up at her his eyes saying something like oh I'm not alone and goes back to kicking the dust on the ground. Rue rolls her eyes and pushes away that though of cruel irony. He saw someone who understood his fear whether it was rational or not. That wasn't cruel, her brain ruminates, that was a bit nice and hopefully he turned out better than she did.

"The kids at school sometimes make fun of me for it," he looks at his shoes and nervously moves around. God does it suck that kid's can still be such little assholes Rue thinks to herself. They were dicks to her too for all her intracacies and nuances. He probably had the same problem. 

"Hey, babe I grabbed your coffee," Jules spoke loudly from behind Rue and she almost jumped. Her eyes went wide for a second she was just focused on her thoughts and making sure no one was a kidnapper. When she looked down Jaden, drawing swirls at his feet was now looking up at her giggling. She mumbles thanks to Jules and takes the paper cup from her hands.

"Wowwwww you're both tall, " Jason tilted his head back and his glasses almost fell off along with his balance. Jules reaches out and holds his little arm before he can give himself a concussion. Jules raises her brow at Rue and recieves a mouthed I'm babysitting while pointing to the store door.

"Thanks again," Rue snorts and sips her drink when Jules and this random kid both side eye her. 

" Hi," Jules squats down and let's go of his arm and holds her hand out. Rue watches her girlfriend and this kid shake hands. His small brown hand gripping Jules as if he was a wise old man. Jules was good with people like that, ya" know meeting them on their level whether that was physical, mental, or threat wise. She was gonna make a good like aunt or something one day to someone. Maybe even a mom, if that's what she wanted, they never talked about that though.

Rue watches the loose pieces of thread rock from the woven bracelet on Jules wrist. Yellow and green beads fastened on to each strand. The bracelet was from a workshop that Jules went to with Kat and Lexi. Rue got to hang out with Maddie and Cassie which was not as awful as it sounds. They actually kinda vibed in a weird when worlds collide moment. But the bracelet had her name threaded into the middle and she teased Jules everytime she could about it. 

"Hello, I'm Jackson." The kid nodded letting go of Jules's hand. Oh shit Jackson that makes so much more sense she sips her coffee again.

Jules grins and responds, "I'm Jules nice to meet you."

Jackson's smile grew wider, "We both have j names I like your name."

"Thankyou I like your name too," Jules stands back up and smiles at Rue who feels herself blush a little. Why was seeing her girlfriend be so nice to a kid making her stomach feel so fucking fluttery. Ugh.

Jackson swings his arms in the air for a second looking between them both as they stare at eachother and then look awkwardly at him. "Um Mrs. Rue ?" 

Rue almost stiff armed this child for him thinking she was old enough for mrs but nodded. Jules felt her heart twinge a bit and couldn't help the aww that quietly came out. She knew Rue's eyes were rolling without even looking.

"Is she your girlfriend ?," Jackson asks flapping his arms like a bird. Jules almost gags on her metal straw and Rue bites the lid of her cup hard. 

Rue looks at Jules eyes wide and mouths, how the fuck...."Um yes," she says after he clears his little throat.

He's quiet and walking in that same swirl while glancing at the sky. They can both hear him humming and Jules instinctively moves a bit away from Rue. Rue glances at her sadly and then back at the little boy in front of them. Jules moves closer to Rue and presses her arm against her girlfriend's. She didn't do it on purpose but she forgot that they lived so comfortably and sometimes so outly within their circles that not everyone was cool with that. Not everyone was cool with who they each were, who they loved, and how beautifully happy they were. Their bubble was their world but the world was not their bubble. Jules holds the cold metal tube in between her teeth. 

"That's nice I have two mommies, they love me a lot," Jackson swings around again and smiles at them.

Rue relaxes and returns his smile with a small one. Jules is close and not as tense and it's nice. The door from the shop opens and a the bell on the door jingles. Jackson yells out mom and runs towards the woman. 

"Thankyou so much for watching him," the woman smiles at Rue and pats her son on the back.

"It's okay ," Rue nods.

The woman glances at Jules and smiles wildly, "Oh hello."

"Hi nice to meet you I'm Jules ," Jules grins and feels Rue adjust her weight.

"He is a chatter," Jackson's mom watches him as he bounces and hangs off of her arm.

"Yea we could tell, " Rue says quickly and Jules has to laugh awkwardly over her comment. Rue holds her laughter and tilts her head a bit. It wasn't an insult it was just the truth. 

"Haha well then thankyou again. Also you two are so cute together," Rue feels her cheeks warm up as she looks away from the girl her eyes drifted to so often. " Come on Jack."

Jackson holds his moms hand and bounces on his heel, "Okay byeeee."

"Bye Jackson, " Jules said waving to the little boy. Rue waved goodbye as well. 

"Bye Julessss," the boy waves and pulls his mom slightly as she waves goodbye to the young women. 

"Don't listen to those kids, " Rue speaks out loudly. Jules watches the small furrow in Rue brow and nibbles on the inside of her jaw. She thinks about the baby pictures Leslie has shared with her. The one that shares that same furrow on Rue's brow as if to say "did I say something wrong ?". It is endearing to look at. 

Jackson laughs loudly holding his moms hand, "I won't !."

When they are far enough away Jules turns to her girlfriend and raises her brow. She sips her drink and watches brown eyes roll over. Jules pokes Rue's arm and Rue shrugs it off and loops her arm around her. They start to walk in the direction they need to and Jules slips her hand down until it interlocks with Rue's. 

"So kid's hmm, " Jules says when they cross onto the less busy walkway. She glances at her girlfriend and then further on down the road.

Rue exhales, " maybe.....maybe...."


	2. Blue Slushies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after the finale, not directly after but soon after and Jules realizes where she does not fit in.

Jules watches from afar, watches Rue laughing with Lexi. They are at a table in the food court of the mall sharing a container of fries and blue slushies. Jules didn't expect to see them or run into Rue. She just came to do some retail therapy of accessories and maybe find some new Buffalo's. Her dad asked why she didn't ask Rue to go with and the truth was she was still somewhat avoiding her best friend. They still hung out, still walked from class to class together, but Rue and her decided they both needed space. Things got really bad for a while and emotions were high.

Talking was still kind of weird and before everything they had a hard time being quiet. Now though they just hung out quietly, sharing the same space without saying much or anything. Her leaving did not help at all. It likely lit the match that lit the candle of awkwardness. So Rue spent time with other people and by herself and didn't text Jules as much. Jules would wake up expecting something from Rue and getting nothing until she said good morning or at least hi in the hallway.

She had no right to be upset but she was. Her stomach felt like when she'd ring out a washcloth before wiping her scraped knees. It burned and the pain did not dissipate. The pain just stung a little less as the hours passed by and her dad passed her the first air kit. Rollerblading outside was a new venture and she could do it alone. She was spending more time alone these days when she did not visit the city. Kat had a boyfriend, Lexi it was awkward, and Maddy was hard to get along with despite their similarities.

Jules watches Rue throw her head back giggling. Watches the way they connect so easily and Lexi is making a stupid face. A stupid look with her perfect face. Her kind pretty face, that she did not hold a candle to. Lexi treated Rue better than she did, mainly because she was a better person. Lexi always knew that and Rue finally realized it too. The girl she held up on a little white pedestal was just a girl and a flawed one at that.

Jules bites her tongue hard Rue is touching Lexi's hair brushing it out of her face and she thinks that's our thing. Not their thing. Ugh. The faint taste of iron coats her mouth and she sips the taste away. It doesn't hurt, it just, it tastes weird. Just like seeing her friend get so close with someone else, it tastes weird.

Jules sips her acai smoothie and glares at the girl who was so her friend. Kind of. She glares at the brunette who slides from the table and walks towards one of the restaurants. Watches Rue grab napkins and run back to the booth with her floppy run. Rue was goofy through and through and it carried into how she carried herself. It made her high tops clap in the rain like she was a little kid jumping in puddles. Jules was usually jumping in puddles though and Rue was there next to her laughing. She could hear her laugh in her head and it made her stomach knot deep deep in it's pit.

She adjusts her stare feeling her tear ducts sting a bit. Fuck, she really fucked up. Her eyes focus to the other brunette who is smiling her direction and waving slowly. Jules bites her straw and quickly shakes her fingers back to Lexi. She is pretty sure Lexi motions for her but she turns away and walks away from the food court. Rue looked just fine without her.

........

Jules isn't paying attention to the show on her laptop. She can't shake yesterday even though it's Saturday and she should be. Should have moved on and just watched one of her dramas or one of her shows and moved on. Moved on from seeing Rue so damn close to Lexi. Everyone moves on, her own voice said as she exhaled and looked away from the screen that was watching her. Her ceiling was so bare and yet it probably has so many stories to tell. 

She hears her phone vibrate and rolls her eyes. She really did not have the emotional capacity to deal with anyone. Especially if she had to figure out how to smile in Rues face like she was fine and that they were fine tomorrow. Yes she could cancel on the girl but then Rue would figure out that something was wrong. Which would be another conversation to ignore or getting a cold shoulder on Monday. 

Jules unlocks her screen and squints at the notification. A text, she pulls down the bar and prepares to tell Kat she was busy today. Just like she had done day after day when she wasn't up to seeing her. Or hearing how in love with Ethan was, he was okay but there was something about him that she didn't like. She didn't know what but she didn't like it. Jules bites down on her lip reading the message and feels her stomach flip.

**Rue: Why didnt u say you saw me at the mall ?**

She shakes the loose strands of her hair or of her sight.

**Jules: Didn't want to.**

Jules watches the typing bubble start and then stop and start again and stop and then a message pops up.

**Rue: Okay but why**

She rolls over and lets out a noise of discomfort into her mattress. Why why why did she have to be the one to have this conversation. Why did she have to fix her own messes? She rolls on her side to type.

**Jules: idk**

**Rue: 😒 stop being weird**

Or be confronted by her own mistakes.

**Jules: I'm not**

**Rue: i wish you'd of just said hi**

**Jules: you seemed busy**

**Rue: right**

**Jules: yea**

**Rue: do you still want me to come over tomorrow**

**Jules: only if you want to**

**Rue: k? see you tomorrow**

**Jules: okay**

**Rue: you are being a fucking weirdo even through text, what's wrong?**

**Jules: nothing just don't feel like talking**

**Rue: K feel better**

Jules plugs her phone in and grabs a pillow to hug. The feeling of knots in her stomach multiplies and she groans, this is fucking trash.

......

Tap. Jules huffs out slowly waking up. Tap. She stretches her limbs to grab her phone. What fucking time is it. Tap. No seriously what is that she sighs looking at the time, it's around 2am and her string lights are still on but the big light off. Her dad probably checked on her she realizes and unlocks her phone seeing a steady thread of messages. Some from an unknown number and quite a few from Rue. Another tap comes from her window and she debates unplugging her lights to be left alone.

She walks over to the window and pushes it open. A small pebble hurls into the open frame and she hears a quiet sorry. Sticking her head out she sees Kat, Lexi, and Rue standing there. Rue is throwing a handful of pebbles back into the walkway. Kat's motioning her to come down and Lexi is shrugging up at her. Jules clicks her tongue and looks back at her bed. She was probably going to be up anyway, she motions down and hushes be down in a minute.

........

The sound of Kat's laugh fills the car as they sit in the parking lot. Rue and Lexi are in the back seat doing whatever and she's passing Kat back her juul. She keeps glancing in the rearview, are they kissing she thinks feeling her body switch to dread. Kat glances at her and rolls her eyes, before opening her mouth, "Are y'all fucking making out?"

Jules shoots Kat death in her eyes but waits for the answer. Even though she is not sure she wants to hear it.

"Ew," Lexi says but Jules can hear the nervousness in her voice. Great, they probably were, Jules thinks and immediately wants to put her head next to the tire and tell Kat to speed over her body.

"No we were actually just talking about going skating this week," Rue adds in and Jules feels humiliated. Why can't Kat just let her suffer in silence. Why?

......

"You can drop me off here too," Rue says to Kat and side hugs Lexi before hopping out of the car. They are in front of Jules's house and Jules pinches her brow.

"You okay ?" Kat asks and Jules just smiles because no she is not. But, does she wanna talk about it in this car with other people, no, and it seems neither did Rue. She half hugs Lexi through the open console space and hugs Kat too even though she wants to smack her with a dose of reality. Stepping out of the car the air is chilly and sends a shiver down her spine. Her and Rue wave the two girls in the car off until they are both alone on the curb.

Rue sways back and forth and Jules can't help but think how pretty she looks under the soft street lights. 

"So," Rue hums.

"You want to stay over," Jules cuts to the chase and looks away to her front door. Her body must have moved too because Rue has hands on either side of her shoulder and is stuttering out wait wait.

Jules sighs and looks at the dark sky, why god why she thinks but says out loud, " What?"

Rue let's go and Jules can feel her eyes on her face before she matches her stare, "You still like me."

"Maybe," Jules shrugs.

She watches Rue nod her head like she's eating a good meal before she says, "I like you too."

"No Rue," Jules huffs and crosses her arms. 

"I know we can't but I do..." Rue starts to say but Jules doesn't really want to hear and feel her hopes bubble up in her stomach and heart. Enough that she actually throws up or throws up with words that would be great now but not so much for the future. Her future or Rue's.

"Lexi is better for you." Jules spits out. Biting her lip hard after letting the words fall out of her mouth. 

Rue rubs her face and sighs because of course it was this shit. Everyone was always telling her who was good for her or making them feel like a fucking burden. Yea she likes Lexi but thats her best friend. What in the hell would she look like if she did not like Lexi. "No she's not," Rue says as she drops her hands.

"She is," Jules retorts quickly.

"No she is fucking not," Rue almost drops her hoodie that's thrown over her shoulder.

"Then who is and why do you spend so much time with her," Jules crosses her arms.

"Um me. I'm the best person FOR ME! And we hang out because we are friends kind of like we used to be," Rue raises her voice but quiets down realizing how late it is.

Jules is quiet but says after a pause, "We still are."

"No we aren't Jules.....it's not the same as me and Lexi," Rue steps back.

Jules hangs her head and lets tears roll down the tip of her nose, " But I."

"You love me I know," Rue clenches and unclenches her fist. "It's not the same because I wanna kiss you so badly my lips hurt just looking at you."

"This sucks," Jules puts her head back and wipes her tears away.

"Yea....," Rue rubs her forhead and restrains her hand from cupping Jules face and brushing those stupid tears away for her.

"So.....," Jules swings her arms, " D'you wanna sleep with me, I mean go to sleep," Jules says. She watches Rue squirm in place and almost cracks a smile.

"Uh yea....yea," Rue stutters and digs the white toe cap of her sneakers into the asphalt.

Jules starts walking to her door, 

"Okay then." She hears Rue groan quietly and feels her cheeks tighten but she doesn't want to let the laugh out. She knows it might freak Rue out but it's cute that her friend gets worked up. Worked up over, even the thought of them being more close than they've gotten a chance to be so far.

The sun rises and Rue shivers at Jules's fingers stroking her bare stomach. She borrowed a crop top instead of wearing her own baggy shirt that was stuffed into Jules's drawer. Jules opted for that instead and Rue swore her friend was teasing her but ignored it. They did not need sex making whatever the fuck was going on with them more complicated.

Jules stares at the eyelashes that glance at her ceiling. Pretty, her brain puts together slowly. She breathes a whisper, " Can we kiss ?"

She watches Rue glance toward her and then away. "Without feelings ? No." Rue says nibbling at the inner corner of her lip.

"I want feelings though with you," Jules cuddles into Rue's side.

Rue goes rigid and whispers, "But that's not okay according to yaknow.... everyone."

"Yea I know, everyone except us.... well I guess me." Jules rolls onto her back and away from Rue. She was right this was not going to be okay if they forced things. But she did not feel great about forcing the notion of complete platonic friendship either. That was something that would repeatedly fail them even if they both gave the stuffing their feeling away an 150 percent try.

It's silent or partially silent for a long time. Breakfast is quiet and the conversation with Jules's dad is mostly one sided. They both get ready out of eachothers way and with minimal words decide to bike ride. They are ticking down the curb near the lake in the park when Jules starts shouting towards Rue while passing her.

"Rue!" Jules yells extending her limbs as her bike coasts across the pavement.

"Huh !" Rue peddles faster to catch up to the girl now far ahead of her. She always felt like she was racing to keep up with Jules not only whenever they rode together but in everything else too.

Jules slows down until she stops in front of the fountain. She pants towards her friend, "Would you kiss me back ?"

When she finally stops next to Jules Rue is wheezing out, "Uh yea."

"Okay good....but you won't right ?" Jules asks while stepping from off her bike and adjusting her mini book bag.

Rue digs her nails into her palm and mutters fuck it before lunging forward and kissing Jules on instinct. She can hear Jules drop her bike and even though she can feel her friends shock it doesn't last long. It turns into Jules's hands behind her head letting her lead the kiss for a bit until Rue let's go.

"Sorry," Rue steps back but doesn't let go of Jules' hand and stares at the wide eyed girl, "I told you it's not the same."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to make this darker and grittier and real, but felt fluff twas needed en these times. Maybe just maybe ill save that sadness for my southern Gothic vampire book, who knows. Unless y'all would want a dark emotional one shot with trigger warnings ofc.


	3. Power Outage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rue and Lexi chill in Lexi's backyard during a blackout.

Rue dips her toe into the cold water. She's staring up at the black sky speckled with stars and red twinkling lights of a plane. Its so much more vivid when it is this dark, and it isn't the bottom shelf gin in her veins. The town is currently in a black out and everyone's lights are out except for a few people who actually have a working generator. A majority of people didn't even have that. This random heatwave was ruthless and the black out were often. Global warming is a bitch she thinks tipping back the gatorade bottle back. Rue feels her chest expand and fall as she stares out into the night.

The town is so different like this, so still and still so active. It's so quiet that all she can hear is the wind, the crickets in the grass, and the plop of pool water as Lexi pulls her hand from it.

"Well that didn't take long," Lexi giggles at the text chime coming from Rue's phone. When she met Rue at the front door her friend had her head down typing away before pocketing it. She knew who Rue was texting because when was Rue not texting Jules.

It made the hairs on the back of her neck stick up everytime, but she was good at masking it. She didn't know if she liked Rue or was just jealous her friend found someone else to spend her time with. At the same time, there were some late new kids who transferred to their school. One in particular kept sticking out to her and it made her stomach flutter whenever they asked her questions about where to go. Somehow she became the designated nice girl not only in her house or her friend group but also by school administrators. They gave her the most annoying task of showing new students around on their first day. But having someone who made her hands sweat, think of her as their first friend was really really nice. She didn't know them that well though and maybe they'd eventually ignore her like everyone usually ends up doing.

Rue reads out her text message, "Stay safe, Tell Lexi I said hi and ," Rue mumbles quietly, "I miss you Rue Rue."

"She calls you Rue Rue." Lexi chuckles rubbing her hand across the dry concrete under them.

Rue blushes, "Yea."

"So are you guys dating," Lexi asks staring at the stars waiting like time was evaporating for an answer.

Rue sighs and looks at the side of Lexi's face. Lexi was a good friend for not only letting her come over in the middle of a black out but for saving her ass multiple times. Lexi also looked nervous for some reason and Rue remembers that kiss for homecoming a few years ago. Weird, it never bothered Rue but Lexi was skittish and ran off. She even avoided eye contact for about a week until Rue was too high to really see if she'd stopped being weird.

"No....maybe. She left before we could really figure it out," Rue sighs. "It doesn't matter anymore though she has Anna."

Lexi turns her head face contorted with sympathy. "No Rue it does matter, at least...you matter." Lexi grins at her friend who she can see the gloss of alcohol fading from's eyes. "Anyway isn't that kind of weird?"

Rue raises her brow wondering if Lexi knew about the Nate situation or even believed her manic understanding of it all. Oh she meant Anna, Rue realizes and rolls her eyes. It was fucking weird though, Jules had just met this girl how was she already in love. Then again she had just met Jules and she was pretty sure she was so in love she had to let her go. But maybe she'd gotten it wrong that it wasn't love maybe just a crush. Unrequited at best? But even when she was high these past few weeks Jules had been gone she still felt so in love everytime they FaceTime.

Jules would ask if she was high super upset and she'd play it off saying she was drinking with Lexi or Fez. Which at least tonight was true. Sometimes she saw the way she felt in Jules face too when she was staring at her for just a little too long and the blonde had her bottom lip between teeth. But sometimes hints of it showed up in Lexi's face too like now. Maybe they both loved her, maybe in different ways or the same.

Lexi exhales Rue seems closer than before maybe she's actually the one closer. She's not sure if she likes Rue in a like like way but does it matter because her hands touching Rue's. And Rue's hand doesn't move away and her own tongue tastes of blue gatorade and tequila. So does it matter that Rue is so obviously head over heels for Jules. It's not like Jules will care, not after a while at least. Her heart is still beating super fast in her chest and her mind screaming out negatives but does it even matter.

Rue's eyes widen and she swallows because what the fuck and why the fuck is she getting so damn close to Lexi right now and what is she about to do. What if this ends up with someone probably Lexi because who is this girl fooling, catching feelings. What if she breaks her bestfriends heart and then she ends up with no one. Or worse Lexi is still around but way more fucked emotionally than she deserves to be. Rue jumps backwards quickly and so does Lexi at the sound of Lexi's sliding back door open up.

Thankyou, Rue thinks. Fuck me, Lexi thinks, and they both turn to see who is coming through the door.

Cassie walks out with her hydro in hand and a blanket. They both watch her drape the blanket over the chair near them and sit down. Lexi sees the look on her face as she shakes her head silently.

"Don't stop your star gazing because of me the house is just too fucking hot," Cassie shrugs.

"You have a fucking blanket," Lexi says staring at her sister confused.

Rue sits up and slips her feet fully in the water, trying to keep her laughter to herself. These two were always funny to be in a room with. She turns to see Cassie rolling her eyes sipping from her water bottle and laying back. Rue's phone chimes again and she opens it cautiously over the pool. Praying it wouldn't fall because her mom would literally kill her or beat her ass for breaking yet another iPhone. Which yes she knows is a luxury to have especially with her moms schedule.

She smiles at the text from Jules;  
I'm on a rooftop in the city looking at the stars with a group of people. Its fun.

At least Jules waa finally getting to be kind of happy, even if some of yhe girl's friends seemed a lot older than both of them. She texted back Me too but waited for whatever Jules was texting to come through.

Thinking about you, i luv you Rue.

Rue feels her heart float a little and responds back before looking at the same sky Jules probably was.

I love you too Jules. Have fun oh and me too they are really pretty tonight.

Lexi was silently glad Cassie interrupted but also a bit upset. She wonders what Rue would have thought if they did kiss. But, the tequila isn't as strong and she knows her anxiety would never let her ask. Especially as she stops talking to Cassie and realizes Rue is way too focused on the stars. She also sees the glow of Rue's phone coming from in front and she doesn't want to disturb that. Disturb whatever fantasy that gives Rue hope or maybe whatever reality that scares herself. The possibility of loosing her closest friend to someone else when she'd expecter it would be a something else. Something else called drugs. Eventually though she knew Rue would come back to earth, back to reality, and then maybe they could watch something on her moms old travel DVD player. For now though she pulled her eyes from the back of her friends head and gazed at earth's speckled ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't ship Rue and Lexi but I do like them as friends. I don't see the Lexi having a very deep crush on Rue but more a curiosity because of her lack of romantic relationships. But, this came to me.


	4. I put a spell on you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rue seems like the wallow in sadness and listen to sad songs type, to me. So here she is listening to sad music in an attempt not to make herself feel any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short random one shot, with no relation to any of my other stories. I was just listening to a song trying to continue a fic based on lovecraft country and I said ah hah. An idea sparked and I wrote this for the past 45-60 minutes. Ah teen heartbreak, I would not go back for a million dollars. No beta.  
> -  
> If you would like to listen and read along the song is  
> "I put a spell on you", Nina Simone Version.  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> *

_"You know I can't stand it._   
_You're runnin' around,_   
_You know better daddy._   
_I can't stand it cause you put me down._   
_Yeah, Yeah"_

Rue felt the tears rolling down her face as she gasped for air. Her phones volume was past the safety warning her phone gave her. The bowl of circle shaped cereal sitting on her side table mushy. Her door jammed shut with a pile of clothes since her mom took the lock off her door. A pack of cigarettes and sandy food crumbs are somewhere under her comforter. Her and them both lost under the mess that she calls her bed.

_"I put a spell on you._   
_Because you're mine."_

Tears hiccup and carry heartburn across her lungs. An internal uncomfortable warmth that does nothing for the chills that run through her. Why do I have to do this alone she questions the universe she doesn't believe in. 

_"You're mine."_

A horn blares out as her stomach cramps at the wails she tries to cover. Why doesn't she get drugs and the girl. It's always one or the other never both. Why do people like Cal Jacobs get their cake, ice cream, and a giant spoon while she suffers with nothing. She hopes he and the monster he's created will both choke and die on that silver spoon one day. Rue begins to wonder just how much God must hate her to leave her like this. The headphones covering her ears block out the sound of her own tears. If she heard them she knows she would hate herself even more. But, she can still feel them as they gurgle in her throat. Cries that leave her nose burning from rubbing it with rough cotton. Her face hurts too but everytime she stops crying the well in her chest fills again.

_"Georgia! Oh Yeah."_

The aches in her body tense as her cries spasm. Rue curls her into a ball and she covers her cries with layers of warmth as they grow louder. The pain spreading from her heart to empty spaces of hurt. Crushed little pills could wipe all of the hurt away, but she has no plug. Her stash has finally run dry, the alcohol is locked away by her mom, and the only thing occupying her time is pain. Her phone keeps lighting up with text messages but she doesn't feel like talking. Nor does she feel like moving. Pain actual physical pain shoots through her limbs at the loss of all her vices. All vices except wallowing in her own self pity. There are no more uppers, no more downers, and no more Jules.

She isn't dead, but talking to her hurts more than it helps. Fuck it is not fair, Rue thinks. Every concerned notification of songs, longing, and all of her that she doesn't get. It's too mant reminders that she will never have Jules and the drugs. She also doesn't get Jules and sobriety in the same breathe. No more Jules in the way she has her heart on at all .... at least not right now. Why does she have to wait, she hates waiting. She hates compromises and cut corners. Waiting was a waste of the time that she hasn't planned on being alive for. Rue hugs herself as the sobs rack through her body. Why was her heart so easily snapped in two like a communion cracker. Thin and weak she criticizes while she rocks herself.

_"I love ya,_   
_I love you._   
_I love you._   
_I love you anyhow how."_

She just wants the silent calm that fills her body at the very top. The very top where clouds are dizzying hues of comfort and slips from reality.

_"And I don't care,_   
_If you don't want me_   
_I'm yours right now."_

The top where everything just stops and she feels happy again. If only all of this could just dissapear like the smoke trails floating from her ash tray. No dead dad, no Jacobs, no Jules, and no more of her. Just pure bliss and happiness. What a night to run out of the only thing keeping her from drowning in her own sadness. What a fucking night. The soreness in her head pounds on and on as she covers her sleeve in tears. Her skin is cold and damp with heartbreak for the third time that night. And it won't be the last.

_"You hear me_   
_I put a spell on you_   
_Because you're mine."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? I apologize if there are typos or grammar flaws.


End file.
